Weird Beard

What's up Bobble-heads?? Yeah, I'm doing this afternoon thing now..

More-Ron In The Afternoon!!

I hope you guys like it!

And, I don't know about you...but it's kinda hard to picture your boss as the guy who's helping you set the building on fire...so, to remedy that situation, with the help of Phil, we have given our fearless leader...Jeff Couch, AKA "Cooch"...the new name - WEIRD BEARD!!

Therefore, this is what I will be picturing, everytime he walks into the studio with me!!

Business up front; Party in the back!

Street Signs For Green Bay's "Mullet Place" Disappear Several Times A Year

The hairstyle is short on the top and long in the back, and in Green Bay the mullet has it's very own street signs _ at least when the signs haven't been stolen. Mullet Place may not be named for the kind of hair design that became popular a few decades ago, but fans apparently like to grab the signs anyway because they disappear several times a year."We've gone through a lot of Mullet Place signs," said a city Public Works spokesman. "My only guess is that people are still in love with the '70s and '80s when the mullet haircut was prominent. I don't know."

At times, every sign on the two-block street has been gone, frustrating some residents."When you tell somebody directions how to get to your place, you've got to tell them it's the third road on the left, because there's no sign to tell them how to get to Mullet Place," said someone not nearly cool enough to have ever worn OR rocked The Mullet.

The city has attempted to stop the thievery by mounting the signs beyond anyone's reach, about 20 feet from the ground. It costs $100 each to replace the signs. Stealing one can cost a lot more. Police say anyone caught taking a street sign can be fined $361 for theft plus $676 for criminal damage to property.

FEAR THE MULLET BABY! FEAR THE MULLET!

What the Chuck???

The Jim Thorpe Association has listed all the folks eligible to be voted into the Oklahoma Sports Hall of Fame. And this year's list of eligibles...is pretty impressive!!

From football...you've got the Boz.

From baseball...that monster, Pete Inviglia.

Out on the links...Bob Tway.

From wrestling...Kendall Cross.

From rodeo...I don't know if he was any good or not...but, I'm gonna use him for my fake-name everytime I go to Vegas from this point forward...Clem McSpadden!! "Howdy ma'am..I'm Clem McSpadden!"

Oh, and there was this one other guy who's eligible to be voted in...and if the voters know what's good for them...HE WILL Be! That person..comes to us from the world of martial arts...and you bet your sweet bippy, I'm talkin' 'bout Chuck Norris. HALLELUJIAH!

So, for any of the Hall's voters who may be thinking twice about whether Lonewolf McQuade, himself, deserves a spot (well hell...his own wing) in the hall of Fame)...here's a few sports facts about the man, you may wanna consider:

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word "hunting" infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.

And, one time when Chuck Norris played golf for money, he marked down a 0 for every hole. A pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck turned toward the man and said, "I'm Chuck Norris". The man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful way to die than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris. Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face anyway.

So, you see, Chuck may be Walker, TEXAS Ranger...but don't think for a second he won't come back to Oklahoma and get you, because you should always remember...if you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Don't say you haven't been warned! I'd check that box next to his name if I were you!

You Can't Make Crap Like This Up!

You may have noticed that we're in a bit of an economic crisis, huh? Well, guess who doesn't get it?? That's right ...professional athletes!

I submit for your amusement...the Washington Nationals' Odalis Perez, who's been released after he failed to show up at spring training by the mandatory reporting deadline. Less than 3 weeks ago...he signed a minor league contract that would have paid him $850,000 if he made the team. In other words...come in and make the team...and we'll pay you a pretty decent wage!! And to be honest...it's a HELLUVA wage based on the fact that in 30 starts last year...he only won 7 times!!! So...if he could manage to do that again...and that's a huge IF...he'd get more that 121,000 per win....but no!! He's said in recent days, he wants a better deal. And if you look at what he's BEEN PAID per win...you can see why he thinks he'll be underpaid... because from the years 2003-'07...over 5 years, he won a total of 40 games, and for winning those 40 games...he was compensated with a "Dr. Evil-like" 29.4 MILLION dollars, or, doing the math...735 thou per win!!! So, I guess if you look at it his way...(and you'd have to be a crack head to do so)...by his standards...he will be underpaid!

Can you say...he just doesn't get it??

And while we're talking about Dollars..and NO SENSE...the Colts Marvin Harrison...he's an idiot! In order to help get the team a little closer to the salary cap...they asked him to take a little pay-cut, which, is pretty understandable when you take into consideration that he's 37... and he only caught 60 passes for 636 yards and five touchdowns last season. BUT...he said NO, I will NOT take a pay cut. You can just cut me!! His cap number for next year would have been 13.4 million... the league's highest for a wide receiver, and he's just not worth that much money any more. BUT, after 13 years with a team that's treated him like a king...he won't even DISCUSS helping them stay competitive...and will, more than likely, wind up in Philly with his old Syracuse buddy Donovan McNabb...playing for about a QUARTER of what the Colts would be willing to pay him!

AGAIN...dude...do you not watch the news? There's this whole financial crisis deal going on that you may wanna look into!!!

More Baseball Talk

Can you tell I'm fired up about Spring Training FINALLY arriving?? However, until the games begin, the "off-field" nonsense continues to make headlines.

Today's entry involves CASH, and I'm not talkin' 'bout the Man in Black!!

I'm sure you kids are well aware of the whole "pot calling the kettle black" thing, right? Well, that's the first thing I thought of when I read the words from Red Sox owner John Henry, who is renewing his call for a baseball salary cap. I guess he wasn't very happy with the Yankees spending 423.5 million this offseason on 3 free agents. And while I've got NO problem with somebody bringing that up., ESPECIALLY during these economic times...when it's thee idiot Henry talking...it kind of makes me giggle a little bit!

Over the last 5 years...the Yankees have been #1 in team payroll (averaging almost 200 mill a year), BUT in ALL BUT ONE of those seasons (that being last year) ...who do you think has been second? Yeah, that's right...the Red Sox!! Now, had it been my Orioles calling for a salary cap...it'd be alot easier to take...with their average payroll the last 5 years...around 71 mill.
Or, how about the Kansas City Royals...at 51 million. OR...how about the Florida Marlins...at 33 million with a low of less than FIFTEEN million for their ENTIRE TEAM...just 3 years ago!

Meanwhile, the Red Sox have been dishing out, on average of 128 million a year!! Oh, and I guess Henry's memory fails him about thee events of November 23, 2007...when they signed Dice-K Matsuzaka to a 6 year, 103 million dollar deal AFTER writing a check for 51 million just for the right to negotiate with him!

Like I said...had anybody else been griping...maybe we'd pay attention...but PLEASE...Somebody hand Mr. Henry one of those little plastic cups please...because he's gotta be on crack to open HIS mouth about this!! Have ya another hit off that pipe John, and then "Shat Ap"!! Oh, and I hope Dice-K's arm falls off!

I LOVE BASEBALL!!

"An Unopen Letter To Baseball Fans"

Today, Wednesday Feb. 18th, we're only a week away from Spring Training games opening up...so, I'm about good and ready to look ahead to my favorite sport. HOWEVER, before we can all do so...we need to visit ONE LAST TIME ...with one of the greatest "Dog and Pony Shows" EVER yesterday, as Alex Rodriguez MET the MEDIA for the first time since his admission of steroid use.

At this juncture, I really don't think I have it in me to point out the list of how many times he LIED AGAIN, contradicted humself NUMEROUS TIMES, professed his LOVE for the teammates who were there to support him ...and basically..accepted ZERO BLAME for anything he's ever put into his body. I mean, other than that...what he said was just fine.

Oh, and on the very same day that's going on...thee idiot Commissioner, Bud Selig says he's bothered by the suggestion that he's to blame for the steroids era. His quote..."I don't want to hear the commissioner turned a blind eye to this or he didn't care about it. That annoys the you-know-what out of me. You bet I'm sensitive to the criticism". Well you OUGHTTA BE!!! Because while you weren't solely to blame...you were definitely a big part of it babe!

At this point kids...I'm ready to let it go..because, quite frankly, I really don't care what they're taking to gain a competitve advantage, because I know damn right well, that if there was something available for me to be better at what I do for a living, even if it was illegal ...BUT my company had no desire to test for it because they were going to make even more money off of me...you bet your sweet bippy I'd take it! (that was an incredible run-on sentence! My 3rd grade teacher would be so disppointed!) But anyway, if you're being honest with yourself...so would most of you!! If you could take a pill and be a better salesman, plumber, chef...whatever...ya know ya would!!!!

Also, from a business standpoint...the game of baseball has never been healthier than it has been during the steroid era. After the work stoppage in '94 that cancelled the World Series, they were in trouble. A whole bunch of people walked away...swearing to never come back, But, they came back in droves 4 years later during the '98 home run chase between Mark MCGwire and Sammy Sosa. That, in itself, may have saved the game...so, if you were an owner of a baseball team...would you care what it took to put the butts back in the seats? Probably not if you're being honest! Especially since Three-quarters of the teams are playing in stadiums built SINCE McGwire and Sosa's run, so, NOBODY involved was turning a blind eye to this!! They were in it together!

This INCLUDES the Players Union...which fought so hard AGAINST drug testing. The funny thing is...they probably didn't even need to, because thee owner's didn't care. The players were goin' deep and gettin' paid! Thee owners were raising ticket prices and gettin' millions in sponsorship dollars from half thee idiots involved in the bailout.....and thee only suckers involved in the whole deal...are the fans...who ever believed in the FIRST place...that this was anything more than business!!

So, from this day forward...I officially don't care what they do! During this "steroid era"...the pitchers were cheating just as much as the hitters!!! And to be honest...I don't care what you're on or how strong you are...if Major League Umpires enforced the strike zone the way it's written in the book...from the letters to the knees...or gave everybody else besides Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine and extra 3 inches off both sides of the plate...we wouldn't even be talking about this!!! You wanna fix baseball?? Well, that's good...because thee owners and players have NO interest in doing it! And if you were them...neither would you!

But please...Alex, Roger, Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmerio, BUD Selig...don't insult me and talk to me like I'm stupid EVER AGAIN!!

Now play ball!!!!

I Can't Drive 85!!

Today's Father of the Year candidate comes to us from the Phoenix Suns...

...where one of their guards, Jason Richardson, was arrested after police said he was driving 55 mph above the limit with his unrestrained 3-year-old son in the car. Nice!!

A law-man first saw Richardson driving 67 in a 40 on Sunday night and being intrigued by this fact, he decided to follow that car. That's when the officer clocked him at 90 mph in a 35 and pulled him over.

Richardson said he had taken his son to dinner and was on his way home....really fast!!! He was arrested and charged with reckless driving, excessive speeding and failure to use a child seat. Police called his wife to come get the kid from the scene of the stop, which had to be nice.

And this follows Richardson being cited in December on suspicion of a DUI. At that time, he called the incident "one stupid mistake I made," and said he hoped it wouldn't change the public's perception of him. If that's a stupid mistake...what do you call going 90 in a 35 with your kid crawling around in the back seat??

I wouldn't sweat the public perception though. After the last couple weeks...the public pretty much EXPECTS ALL high profile athletes to be morons!